In thinking about how to give women their longest, strongest orgasms, we realized that what has helped us the most was Layering - bringing in a combination of sensations (in a specific order or all at once) to really deepen and spread the orgasm.

Clitoral orgasms are the most common and foundational orgasm that women have and these orgasms are most likely to come from self-clitoral stimulation, sometimes with very little all-over body stimulation or fantasy. This is an amazing and wonderful way to have an orgasm, and we want you to think of it as the essential ingredient for most orgasms. There are many ways to add additional layers - whether by yourself or with a partner. Don’t underestimate the clit - no matter what layers you add, you will almost always want to have clit stimulation be one layer unless your partner tells you otherwise.

Sometimes partner sex can be very basic, especially the kind we see in television shows and movies; there are a couple of kisses, someone grabs for the other person’s belt or button, the pants come off in 30 seconds, and something gets quickly shoved into something else (generally penises in vaginas if hetero, fingers in vaginas if lesbian, and, so much more often seen, penis-in-mouth or penis in ass if two men). This is a very non-layered way to approach sex and is very unlikely to result in female orgasm at all.

We want to give you some layers of stimulation that can strengthen women’s arousal and orgasms. When adding layers, be aware that some can be distracting so make sure you communicate with your partner to see which layers add intensity and which detract. As a basic rule, most women (though not all), need to have their clit licked, rubbed, or stimulated in some way. Pro-tip - start with very light stroking or licking the clit - an inordinate number of men give the clit too much direct pressure too fast! Women are generally better about this because they have one :-) Especially if you are using your hands, start light, get a lot of surface area, make sure the clit or your fingers are wet, and use the hood to bring friction instead of directly touching it with your fingers!!! Here are some activities you can add to clit stimulation that can make all the difference in how hard your sweetheart comes. Below we have included quotes from friends, clients, and coaches to help you feel how much they love the layers!

1. Kissing “Feeling a tongue in my mouth, licking my lips or feeling my lips bitten is an amazing warm up, but people usually stop kissing me when they are inside me. Some of my most intense orgasms have been in the midst of a kiss. Usually, I have to stop kissing eventually because I’m moaning too loudly.” You can kiss your partner while stroking her clit, fucking her or even while she is masturbating.

2. All-Over Body Touching “The other night, I was on my knees and my partner was fucking me from behind and I had my vibrator on my clit. Just as I came, she started slapping my ass really hard and it was like the slapping made the orgasm spread through my whole body.” Including light touch, grabbing and spanking can continue during the build to orgasm and can increase orgasmic intensity. Gently stroking her back and hips or stomach and breasts can be a great layer of enhancement as well.

3. Nipple Play “For me, it is all about my nipples. It feels like they have a direct connection to my clit. One of my favorite things is when my partner is sucking on my clit and they pinch my nipples really hard. I’ve sometimes even had orgasms from my nipples alone.” While licking her clit, try reaching up and stroking or pinching her nipple - make sure you find out how hard she wants it, some women want very light touch and some women can take a much harder pinch than you might imagine. A bit of pain can intensify the nervous system prolonging or deepening orgasm.

4. Vibrators “I always take my vibrator to bed.” Vibrators can be an amazing tool for layering because it means she can be "driving" the clit touch herself, while your hands, mouth, and cock or strap-on are free to add the other layers. Vibrators are great to use with all of these other layers and can greatly enhance and prolong a woman’s orgasm as well as making multiple orgasms more likely.

5. G-Spot “My G-Spot didn’t come into play in my sex life until I was in my mid-thirties. I had this partner who had done a bunch of reading and he wanted to practice all he had learned. We practiced and practiced and practiced!!! It completely changed my sexual desires. I think my favorite now is having him go down on me while he teases my G-Spot and then slowly goes harder and harder. This gives me enough time to really feel the building of my arousal and desire. Sometimes he squeezes and pinches my ass at the same time, then I really go crazy.” The G-Spot is one of our favorite layering tools. Because the G-Spot and clit send sensations across different parts of our nervous system, the combination orgasm that comes from some G-Spot and clit can be much more intense. Sometime, G-Spot touch can desensitize the clit a bit, so you may need stronger stimulation, such as a vibrator or fingers going really fast to get the full explosion. If your partner has never connected with her G-Spot, we can teach you how to help her do that!

6. Words and Shared Fantasies - “One time my partner, who is usually really quiet, was kissing my face and neck and stroking my body and suddenly they just started telling me how they were taking control of my body and how I had no choice but to feel all the pleasure. That they were just going to keep touching and playing with me however they wanted to and there was nothing I could do, I just had to let it all happen. It was next-level, that’s for sure. I had to hold back from touching myself right away. Instead, I felt my arousal building higher and higher and the feeling of being powerless was so exciting, I had to wait until they were ready to touch me, I came about 30 seconds after the clit touch started!” We cannot emphasize enough how much adding some more mind arousal can help bring women to harder, deeper orgasms. Everything from saying your partner’s name to telling her how hot she is to whispering her favorite fantasy in her ear can be huge orgasm enhancers. When she is coming, you can say, “come for me, come on, come for me” (though be careful saying this before she comes unless you know it’s her thing because it may create performance anxiety and get in the way of her orgasm).

7. Cervix “I really like deep penetration, and I can feel my orgasm emanating from my cervix, but it doesn’t happen unless I have good, strong vibrations on my clit at the same time. My lover can use their fingers or toys, just needs to be really deep and hard, and then my orgasm can go on and on, sometimes I can even roll into a second orgasm without any break.” While some women have very sensitive cervices (yes, that is the plural of cervix!) that cannot take a lot of pressure, for other women, the cervix adds a wonderful layer of sensation. You can try using your fingers, or a toy if your fingers aren’t long enough and play with different kinds of cervical touch. You can try direct pressure or pressure to the “gutters” around the cervix, which affects the cervix by moving, it but may have less of a chance to cause discomfort or cramping.

8. Anal Play “Sometimes I feel like there is this direct connection between my asshole and my clit. My partner will be licking me and then she starts playing with my ass, just on the outside even, and it brings my clit sensitivity way up. It was really surprising the first time, and I thought I would never want anything touching, and definitely not in, my ass. That certainly isn’t the case anymore. I love it when my partner puts her finger inside me or a butt-plug when I’m touching myself. The best is when she is also sucking on my nipple at the same time. I kind of melt into a puddle after that.” Many folks are wary of anal play and don’t even give some gentle stroking a chance, yet all of the nerve endings, as well as the powerful feeling of anal penetration, can really pack an orgasmic punch!

Just sitting here and writing this and thinking about partners who knew how to dance with the full symphony of musical notes that can be played on a woman’s body makes us shiver! Women, we highly suggest you forward this to your partner right away. Point out the parts that you like best and give any extra detail your partner might need, like the order you want them to go in for the perfect build or which ones you like to have all at the same time! Also, make sure to let them know if there is anything you like on your body that we have left out.

We hope you savor every moment of every layer!

Love,

Celeste & Danielle